So I'm fat

Having a bit of a "I hate my body" moment so instead of letting it sit I will write about it, get it out in the open and I'll feel better about it as it will help me come up with solutions.

I am currently 76kgs. I am only 155cms or 5'1". I am a size 12-14 depending on the style and company. Size and weight doesn't really bother me as much as how i FEEL. I feel so tired and sick when I don't exercise so why don't I do it? because. but. excuse after excuse. There is no excuse, there is only me. Yes I was teased and bullied about my weight as I grew up. But that is no excuse as to why I let myself get unhappy. I want to do the city to bay run/walk. But I won't get there unless I push myself to do something.

We are due to do a big grocery shop. I am going to change what we get for everyday meals. I am going to remove all unhealthy snack options. I will stop snacking after dinner. It is only done out of habit anyway. I need to start having breakfast in the morning. And a cup of green tea would go down well as well.

I know what to do. I just need to DO IT.

Before, After and After

So here is the next update of me in a bikini. January 2008, January 2009 and February 2010. I think I've become "comfortable" this year but I've also lost a bit in the legs.































I am back at the gym now so we'll see how I look next January :)

Happy year

It has been a happy year so far. No major dramas, no major money troubles, everything is fresh and new and we have plans! Pat and I have joined a gym and we go as often as possible which is making us feel awesome. I need to focus on strengthening my core as I get a lot of lower back pain and so far it is working.

Pat started a new job last year and even though it isn't in the field he wants, it is stable and pays well and he enjoys it. I have changed occupations and left hospitality for Reception. I am currently unemployed although I am with a temp agency and did a 4 week stint at a building company. I am looking for work but I am not too worried about something popping up. It will come along when it does.

We are looking at buying a house in the near future. We would like to build and have been looking at plan prices and land prices. We will be having meetings with banks soonish and finding out where we stand loan wise right now and where to go from here.

Vanessa started school this year. It's been a roller coaster ride for sure but she is starting to settle into the routine of school now. She enjoys it a lot and is excited every morning to go. When she's older I'm sure I'll get the "I'm sick" "I'm too tired" excuses.

I have been a bit slack in the fact that I haven't taken a January 2010 weight photo. So I will do so sometime next week and pop up the last 3 years and how my body has changed. I don't think there will be much change in the last year but I am happier with how I look now than I did then as I am fitter and healthier thanks to the gym.

My Life Laid Out