The Final Leg

As of today, the 29th September, it is five days till I move to Adelaide. I am so excited I have no idea what to write but I am needing to write so here I am trying to put two words together that make sense.

If you don't know already I am moving to SA with my daughter to be with my boyfriend Pat. We've been together for 21 months now. It's been long distance the whole time and have seen each other every 2-3 months. Last October Vanessa and I stayed with Pat for a month to see what it would be like. It was heaven.

Now this may turn really corny but our relationship has always felt right. Sure i've had my moments of doubt, but I can be a very jealous person. But when i look into it I know in my heart it's right and there is nothing to worry about.

So the way I'm feeling at the moment is excited and nervous. more excited than anything but nervous of the unknown. Yeah we have lived together for a month before but that was a month. This is for an unknown amount of time. I shouldnt worry but I have been in a few bad relationships before, which i have explained to Pat so he fully understands, and unfortunately they always put doubts in my head.

I have never felt the way I feel about Pat before. He treats me as an equal, he makes me laugh, we have alot in common but about the same amount not in common. There is alot about him that gets on my nerves sometimes but I don't let get to me because it's what makes Pat Pat. I'm sure there is ALOT about me that irritates him. I know there is alot about me that irritates me. We are both passionate about each other, if that makes sense. We appreciate what we have and will try anything and everything to keep us together.

We have hit a few hard bumps in the last month or so (namely my mother) but have gotten past all of our troubles by talking it out and coming to a middle ground and I hope we stay that way. I know there'll be times I will lash out over something small or take something the wrong way but if he gives me space and time to think it over it will blow over as if nothing happened.

If I had the choice I would be an at home mum. Unfortunately we aren't in the financial position for me to do that so I have to work. But I want to do all the housework as long as he does the dishes. I HATE dishes with a vengeance and hope the new house we move to has a dishwasher. His flat at the moment has one and I am so happy for that. Sure there will be days I will be absolutely stuffed and will need him to do other house chores but I find I am a typical old fashioned 'housewife' type of gal. Plus I like things done a certain way. A small case of OCD I think.

One of the things I am looking forward to about moving is meeting all new people. I have made a few online friends over the last few weeks and I can't wait to meet them face to face. I love to socialise but I always find I lack the friends to do it that often. I think it's because people find it hard to know what i'm about sometimes. Plus I am the moodiest bitch out there (which I am going to be seeing a doctor about once I've moved). I also have alot of ideals that people can find strange. I also tend to be one of those 'yes' people. I'll go out of my way to help anyone and then get thrown aside the one time I ever say no, so I do have a few walls up.

Vanessa adores Pat and is almost as excited as me. She always asks to talk to him on the phone. And when I asked her about moving in and living with Pat her whole face lit up. I wouldn't be doing this if Vanessa wasn't happy or was uncomfortable with him. She does and always will come first. I'm just so very glad they get along. Well Pat is like a little kid himself so there isno doubt about that.

I really do hope this works as I can't see myself with anyone but him. It's as if I have always known he was out there because the first time I ever talked to him I knew we'd be at least good friends for life. The first time I kissed him that was it for me. I wanted to be with him and only him and everything that happened between that kiss and us getting together hurt alot. But I needed to stick with what my whole being was screaming. And here we are, moving in together, becoming a family.

So here's to the next stage of our relationship.

My Life (and heart) Laid Out