Spacing things out

During my sessions with my therapist we talk alot about spacing things out. I have a habit of doing all or nothing. I will get a huge urge to up and clean everything I can get my hands on; bathroom, kitchen, lounge, laundry. If I don't achieve all that I want to during these spurts of energy I get frustrated and upset and feel a failure. That in turn makes me tired and just want to lie in bed and do nothing till the next surge happens.

I am working on this by spacing out each household job. I write To Do lists and try and stick with them. If I do more than whats on the list then I have a sense of achievement which is a great thing for me to feel. Now that I am working I have to space things even more as work takes alot out of me. Working is helping me with my habit as well as helping to solve out financial struggles so it's kicking two of my problems out the door.

I wrote out this weeks To Do list:

Monday: General Tidy

Tuesday: 1 Load of whites
Vacuum
Cook Dinner

Wednesday: 1 Load of darks
Mop
Cook Dinner

Thursday: Complete washing
General Tidy
Cook Dinner

Friday: Cook Dinner

Saturday: Clean bathroom/toilet
Cook Dinner

Sunday: General Tidy
Cook Dinner

As you can see I have allowed myself Friday to do my own thing. I decided to give myself one day a week to relax and not do any housework. At the moment all I ask Pat to do is dishes. As my hours at work increase I will have to ask him to do more. I feel as though I shouldn't as he works hard and as his shifts are all over the place he gets exhausted. He says for me to ask for help and he doesn't mind but I feel as if it is my job to do the housework. I know this is, in a way, wrong but it's a way in which I show him I love him. That I appreciate everything he does to keep us afloat. I guess you could call it a gesture of love.

I love doing things for others, and this is my way of doing something for my family.

My Life Laid Out